Kaleidoscope

Kaleidoscope
1.an optical instrument in which bits of glass, held loosely at the end of a rotating tube, are shown in continually changing symmetrical forms by reflection in two or more mirrors set at angles to each other.
2.a continually changing pattern of shapes and colors.
3.a continually shifting pattern, scene, or the like: The 1920s were a kaleidoscope of fads and fashions.
Source: www.dictionary.reference.com

The first few weeks after the Batsman’s diagnosis have that feeling of almost not being real. But I know all too well that they were real and will stay with me always.

There are so many images and words that come to mind but as I sit down to try and write this post they collide and conflict, leaving me feeling confused. It would probably take me the world’s longest blog post to try and communicate them. And even though I have a feeling of not wanting to write about such a difficult time, the family memory keeper in me knows that it is important to record that time, if nothing else so that we can see just how far we travel in the months and years ahead. So here they are, some words and images from that time only 2 short months ago.....a kaleidoscope. My continually changing pattern of shapes and colours.
love
grief
fear
love
shock
relief
confusion
love
overwhelm
guilt
love
panic
love
loneliness
sleepless
anger
hope
joy
drowning in paperwork
unprepared
exhaustion

gratitude
trust
love, love, love

And here is our beautiful boy blissfully unaware of the turmoil going on around him in the last few weeks. Our little Bowler is there too, bless him. Neither of them know a world without the other in it.

 

I love them so.

xx

PS: When the Bowler was born, the dearest of friends gave me an unusual baby gift, she gave me a kaleidoscope. In the giving she said that I would know when it's the right time to look into the kaleidoscope. I think now is the right time. Because through the pain comes the beauty and there is so much beauty to look at. Thanks T. Looking right now.