Shower shadow

Autism loves a ritual. A repetition. Doing the same thing over and over and over again.

For the Batsman some rituals are about controlling his world. If the same thing happens in the same way every time, he doesn't have to deal with the possibility of the unknown or unexpected. Some rituals and repetitive behaviours have minimal impact on the family day to day and can, most of the time, be accommodated easily enough. Others can be a right royal pain in the bum and it's often those ones where we try to shift them, challenge the repetition a little, push the boundaries and aim for an outcome where things don't always HAVE to be a certain way.

Over here at the Pavillion, we have had lots of these rituals and repetitions.

• Lights having to be turned on (and off) in the car in a certain order.
• The Batsman having to be the one to close doors, turn lights on and off, turn the television on and off, turn the microwave on and off....
• The Batsman having to be the one to open the front door to an arriving visitor or someone departing.
• The Batsman having to wait until a departing visitor's car is out of sight before he will come inside (yes we spend a lot of time at the front door).

The consequence of challenging some of these repetitions can be either the beginning of a meltdown, a meltdown or at a minimum a very anxious, unsettled little boy. Some of these behaviours have been with us for a very long time and others come and go. Usually one that disappears is replaced by a new one popping up. Let's just say I was very happy when the "it has to be me that closes the fridge every single time" disappeared off the radar.

I wrestle, internally, with which behaviours to challenge. At one level, routines and a constant sense of the familiar give the Batsman the capacity to predict his world and anticipate what's ahead. But I also know that the world, especially as he gets older, doesn't work like that. At many levels, the work we are doing now is to equip the Batsman to deal with whatever our crazy world throws at him.

And then there's this.

Every morning, while I have a shower, the Batsman hangs out with me in the bathroom. Every morning.

Sometimes he plays with his i-pod, sometimes he just sits right up next to the shower screen and chats to me. As soon as he hears the taps turn off, he gets my towel and hands it to me. "Here's your towel mummy".

Thank you gorgeous boy. Thank you. Thank you.