Our autism

This post was going to be written a week ago. I wanted to mark World Autism Awareness Day on April 2 as landmarks and buildings around the world were "lit up blue" to raise hearts and minds and voices in the name of building awareness, acceptance and understanding of those affected by autism.

Circumstances conspired. The post wasn't written until a week later. Oh well. I'm here now and that's what counts.

Building awareness and understanding is complicated. Autism is such a complex condition and it affects those who have it in a myriad of different ways. We tend to want to generalise complex things, we want to stereotype and categorise and put people into a neat box so that we can simplify it all.

All I can do, in the here and now, is tell you what autism is like for the Batsman. What it's like for the Captain and me, his mum and dad. I believe very much in the power of storytelling. Telling a story gives us a glimpse into the world of another, stories connect us. A window, a way in.

Our autism:

• sees a little boy who is gentle and sweet but struggles to stand up for himself in any way.
• sees the Batsman struggle with language - the messages going in and being understood and the expression coming out.
• sees the Batsman find it difficult to read social cues and understand the emotions of others - to know when those around him are happy, sad, angry or excited and how to respond appropriately.
• sees the Batsman needing support to make ordinary play encounters with other children happen.
• sees tasks like toileting become a big project, breaking the task down into tiny steps to be learnt and learnt
• sees the Batman constantly struggle with being overwhelmed by his environment. Noise, chaos and busyness, changes to routine, different foods, new people, can all change the Batsman's capacity to happily get through his days. Meltdowns of the most distressing kind happen, sometimes when you don't see them coming.

It's hard to watch your child grapple with tasks and concepts that lots of other kids learn easily. It's stressful trying to make the right decisions about therapies and interventions that will help your child live the best life possible. It's difficult too, to try and find the balance of early intervention programs and schedules and everyday family life, making sure the Bowler gets his fair share of the action.

But it's not all bad. It is a very big and precious gift to be so aware of every little stride forward your child makes, to never take any of it for granted. In so many ways, autism has brought great big challenges to our family life but it has brought some sunshine too. Hope, always hope.

And if you are reading this and thinking "what can I do"?
Read here and here and here
If there is someone in your world affected by autism, talk with them, learn more, judge less.

If you are in a position to do so, ask them what you can do to be of support. A random act of kindness will be loved and appreciated by families so often at their limits of coping.
Include, understand, love.
And get to know these extraordinary children. Really.