Recognition

Today was a Tuesday just like any other.
The boys and I went on the short drive to participate in their sports program.
As soon as we arrived they were off and racing, both the Batsman and the Bowler giggled with great joy as they chased and ran laps around the wide open space.

Another little boy came into the hall. He was maybe three years old, slight and pale.
Within the first minute I watched him, it was there.
Recognition.

The stance.
The fearful body language.
The arms flapping wildly.
The tears.
The high pitched screams waning into whimpers.
The same words repeated over and over, "no mummy, no mummy, no mummy".
The refusal to be touched.
The pleading for comfort coupled with the unwillingness for close contact.
The anguish on a parent's face.
The all too early departure, defeat.

Tears welled quickly for me. Recognition.
Three short years ago, this was me. This was us. This was our little boy.
And now, here we are, so much further along the road.
We are the lucky ones. We have had so much progress. There are so many new skills.
But the recognition and the pain of those early times never goes away. Not really.
Like we all must, I push away that haunting and look forward. It's the only way.

I wanted to run after them and tell them that it would all be ok.
But of course I couldn't do that.
No-one can ever make you those promises.


Image via we heart it