Must I?
Must I continue to endure your lack of effort to learn more about autism and help support our Batsman?
Must I continue to put up with your lack of understanding of the intricacies of what autism means for our boy?
Must I still have to explain to you that big crowds and big events only work for the Batsman in small, sometimes tiny doses and that we do our best to manage all of that, even if it means leaving early or not being there at all?
Must I always feel like I have to justify my descriptions to you of the Batsman's anxiety, of the sensory processing and communication issues that can make life for him (and us) a struggle?
Must I have to say that what is helpful is your support and understanding, not your judgement?
Must I ask for you to respect the decisions we make as his parents?
Must I? Really?
Image via We Heart It
Oh Suz, all love your way. Lack of understanding is one thing. The not even trying to is quite another.
ReplyDeleteI hear you, and will always be listening.
xox
Yes, you must, It sucks, but it is true. Because it is true doesn't make it hurt any less.
ReplyDeleteMy thinks that Veronica is faking her disability. And goes out of his way to passively aggressively hassle her online.
My thinks that we have made up the Ehlers Danlos syndrome to make her life difficult.
My thinks that autism is just poor parenting.
Love to you.
There was supposed to be brackets after "my" in each of the three examples I left.
ReplyDeleteBlogger ate part of my comment. :(
Each sentence in my previous comment relates to a different family member..
Some people just don't get it and seem to be lacking in the empathy needed to want to imagine it.
ReplyDeleteHang in there. xx
God yes and it sucks so hard. I've almost completely stopped seeing extended family because I'm so sick of having to explain it all the time.
ReplyDeleteYeah Annie kicked her sisters computer to pieces, no I couldn't stop her, she was in full meltdown and beyond reachable. Yes we are doing something about - we see the shrink, counsellor, OT, speechie, paed, have started medicating.
No I don't think telling her the police will take her away from Mum and Dad and never give her back will help.
Yeah I know you heard it on Dr Phil but guess what I have more faith in our team of shrink, counsellor, OT, speechie and paed than anything Dr-f'ing-Phil has to say.
:: sigh ::
Sorry you tapped into some of my recent unpleasant run ins there.
That said much of the family does their best to understand. It seems easier for them with Heidi who is so obviously different than with Annie who often appears to be just typical when in company.
It saddens me that your beautifully expressed pleas are something close to universal among autism parents.
ReplyDeleteGrrr.
I'm sorry, I wish that there was more understanding for you and your dear boy. It is frustrating and agonising to have to keep explaining and justifying yourself.
ReplyDeleteSo sorry to read this, Suz.
ReplyDeletexo
Oh Suz, it's such a difficult thing to understand, to explain and to manage isn't it. Those who try to understand, bless them, may not ever really truly 'get it' but their support, empathy and love is a wonderful thing. Those that don't even bother yet take the time to judge make me angry too.
ReplyDeleteHere for you xx