D Day
Reading the accounts of other parents of the day their child was diagnosed with an ASD, there is one common thing that most of them say...”you never forget the day your child is diagnosed with autism”. I agree with that. March 18 2010 is most certainly a day I will never forget but in a way it snuck up on me. It was our second visit to our lovely developmental paediatrician, the previous time being in December. While I knew in my heart that there was a broader diagnosis and challenge coming our way, somehow the fear and denial worked in concert with the busy life of a mum of 2 boys to have me thinking “she won’t diagnose him today, she will check in with us and let him have another couple of months to see how he goes at kinder”......what was i thinking?
So when she said to us on that day almost a month ago that she felt that the Batsman had a mild ASD, I had the odd sensation of having known it was coming but at the same time feeling shocked and like someone had punched me in the stomach. Shock, tears, head spinning, numbness and so many questions.
Looking back now, I am sure the paed, highly experienced over many years, could have diagnosed the Batsman back at that first appointment where we spoke about his developmental delays, his behaviour, his strengths and his weaknesses. I suspect that in her wisdom and in her kindness she was giving us some time, time to think and reflect, time to get used to the idea and time to find a little place in our hearts and minds to accept it. But it wasn’t enough. We are only a month into the journey but I am not sure that any amount of time is enough to wrap your head around a lifelong neurological disorder with no definitive cause or cure.
A month on from D Day and I also realise that having a diagnosis is in many ways a blessing. We have a path ahead now, a journey to go on that has a name and there are resources and support which become available almost immediately. There are positives among the fear, the chaos and the questions. But as long as I live, I will never forget that day.
So when she said to us on that day almost a month ago that she felt that the Batsman had a mild ASD, I had the odd sensation of having known it was coming but at the same time feeling shocked and like someone had punched me in the stomach. Shock, tears, head spinning, numbness and so many questions.
Looking back now, I am sure the paed, highly experienced over many years, could have diagnosed the Batsman back at that first appointment where we spoke about his developmental delays, his behaviour, his strengths and his weaknesses. I suspect that in her wisdom and in her kindness she was giving us some time, time to think and reflect, time to get used to the idea and time to find a little place in our hearts and minds to accept it. But it wasn’t enough. We are only a month into the journey but I am not sure that any amount of time is enough to wrap your head around a lifelong neurological disorder with no definitive cause or cure.
A month on from D Day and I also realise that having a diagnosis is in many ways a blessing. We have a path ahead now, a journey to go on that has a name and there are resources and support which become available almost immediately. There are positives among the fear, the chaos and the questions. But as long as I live, I will never forget that day.
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